Touch my Soul .

Stepping into the old world of mine . It's different , absolutely . 

It took me 4years , 4years to finally starting to accept the final facts. 

People asked me why did I stop being holy.( why did i stop going to church? )

Not only about the holy-mandy-going-to-church-every-sunday, but everything. 

I dunnoe whether to say out here or  just leave it . Becos the answer is deep in my heart. 

4years ago, something so major, so important, so unbelievable , so unpredictable happened , disaster.

(Feeling kind of happy that I could type this out, it means I learnt to let go . )

Its so heartbreaking but so .. If I would say, im not sad , would you believe ?

Anyway, lets focus on the old world :D 

I decided to end my old world, totally. In fact, to get out of that life. 

Even my dearest best friend, I choose to back off . 

They makes me think , think of my past .

Talking about it, I was just Sec 2. I thank God for his plans, I gotten bffs from then . 

I gotten a new world, a new beginning for everything . 

I begin to keep to myself, more and more. 

The old me was so kiddish, so naive , I will say everything to anybody.

But sorry, I learnt I learn that no one owes me a living, no one will ever need to know how i should feel . 

No one should even pity me . 

Now its the Mandy Lim, I am . I never liked to trouble people, however, I love best friends/friends to trouble me. Maybe I am plain busybody. 

So you could see, i think a lot . Last night, I slept at 3am . 

Getting myself ready to step into my old world to take a look .

Looking at that pathetic life, the carefree life . 

I miss those time. But I never regret having the new world :D 

I thanks Weiyi , for forcing me to go to chruch.
I thank God for giving me a character that doesnt know how to reject people . I finally went back for service, today. 

I was late, and scared cos I wont like to be left alone, sometimes.

Alone doing things by myself.

So lovely Weiyi came to rescue .She called me to meet me at the entrance. 

She brought me up to the hall , though i know the way. 

I took a deep breath before going pass the glass door .

Having prayers, stood at the door for minutes, till the end of the prayer. 

I am feeling nervous, feeling scared, feeling weird, feeling .... 

I took a few deep breath, wonder if weiyi heard me . Seriously.. 

The feeling isnt very good, its like so strange.

A place I used to go weekly, A placed I used to know about God, A place where I have so many memories. 

Its like you met your old best friend on the way, but yet you got nothing to talk about . 

It was somewhere where I am so used to it , but Im feeling strange . 

Its like a puzzle piece that dun fit into the puzzle set . Weird . 

But thanks, thanks to weiyi , seriously.

Went over to take a seat, same many old faces &new faces .
( Obviously, there's only new & old -.- )

I dunnoe what I should do , I dunnoe what I am suppose to do . I sat there, doing nothing but listen.

I guess that what we're suppose to do, anyway. 

Soon 2hour passed, thats fast . 

Couldnt stop my mind from thinking of the past. 

It would be prefect if Vivien was next to me, dumbass need to work. 

I thanks Bella too , she tried her best to let me feel alright .

Was about to go off, but saw Joanna :D I saw her at Arcade last night ;/

Everyone changed so much. Really . 

Had a small session of catching up. But its never enough . 

Sansan also, I left church when she is pregnant . Now her son was 4years old. 

& 3year old for the lao-er . 

The things that did not change in the church was the bible, I guess.
( Trying to be sarcastic )

Anyway, things come & go . 

Am I a new comer ? I-dun-wan-to-be& I AM NOT . hahas. ( now my feelings are loosen up. ) 

There's many more feeling, that cant be describe with words . 

Last thing, I am so glad. Becos I believe in God. Although i drift away from church& miss out Gospel. But God is always with me, by my side. 

Okay, better stop before Iget too holy here lah . 

Should be going to Library later , i guess so ... 

Regards. 

XOXO