Not only the things changed, I changed.

I was bloghop-ing . 

Saw one blog that reminds me lots of things. reminds me that so many things changed, so many things arent the same... 

* Tweetdeck's notification pops up.  *

Roy is always trying to be a bitch, never fail to irritate Abby&I.

Okay back to topic. 

I was in this-person-J blog, its a post that contain lots of photos but little words.

Its not the faces in the photos remind me of how much i have changed. 

Its the things/ venue of the photo reminds me of how much i have changed . 

I always thought that its them & its time that changed the whole situation to make me feel awkward. 

But no, i realise the things are the same, the people may be changing, but what matter most is , I changed more than anyone there. 

In one of the photos, it shows a table & same chairs. 

The chairs that I used to sit on, the table I used to use... 

Few months back I went back to that place, I saw the black marker words V used to write on the tables. Not only one table but quite a few. 

There are some people, i used to be so close with.. 

Used to send Emails & SMSes to them daily.

Now they msg no longer appear in my inbox.. 

I questioned myself , was it me that let this relationship down ? 

I think its me, sorry. 

I dunnoe why. I kind of miss the old times, but never regret having my current life . 

To them, I am just a stranger with familiar face.

I remember, I went totally speechless that morning. 

I want to speak up , but I cant find any topic to say, I just smiled & said How are you doing now ? 

& we had the acquaintance conversation .

S : So how's life ? Which poly are you in now ? 

M : Great, Im doing well . Im posted to NgeeAnn, ECE. 

S : Good, Where have you been ? I haven seen you for ages . We miss you . 

M : Hmm, no where. Yes, I miss you guys too . Since when we last catch up.. 

S : 3years. *smile * 

M : yeah, time seems to fly man .. 

S : So where are you going later ? 

M : Meeting my friends. 

S: Not staying any longer ? 

M : Nope, I guess I will make a move first. Bye :) Take care. 

You know how bad I feel when i answered all those . I bet you never know.. 

Becos you never know how much all my friend weigh in my heart. 

All of them weigh differently . But they still weigh a part of me . 

Whatever it is now, i have changed so much, i dun ask to have the same old thing but I hope that you're good with living now . 

It hurts so much to see my memories, its like i have hidden that small part of me deep down. 

I dun recognize my oldself. Was that even Mandy ? 

Friends, how will things be 10 years later ? 

Regards.

XOXO.