Never will I doubt my intuition, again.

Die, I lost Dummy )': This morning before I left for work, I thought that I needed to take more photos with Dummy. But I kick that idea off my mind 'cos I dun have the time& patience. If you ever take photo with a Dog, you will know how hard it is. It cant stop moving & when you shot, it will move.

I felt something's wrong, 'cos this crazy idea wont pop up in my mind for nothing. I thought of it 'cos I remember 4months ago, I saw one of my friend's blog, blogging about her dog, that had pass on due to old age.

Damn, i shouldnt have actually doubt my intuition, I told myself " Nah, Dummy wont die so young one lah ! He will still bites my stuffs for like few more years. "

& Fuck, now its fucking missing.

I left work, saying Goodbye to Dummy. As usual, he will run into the room, up the bed & put his head out of the window frame. Barking to show that he doesnt want you to leave . But when I'm back from work, being the tired & annoyed Mandy. I will just leave the earpiece on my ears & walk into the room. Didnt notice Dummy wasnt waiting for me at the door. I happily on the computer , use the computer. & finally Im going to the kitchen for dinner, i realise something is missing. Why arent Dummy following me to the kitchen?

I was shocked & wake my sister up to go downstairs to look for Dummy, nah, she didnt wan to go. So I went looking like a idiot, asking all the people who is still downstairs. After like an hour of search at like 11+pm, i went home. Mummy asked me where did i go . I told her Dummy went missing & i went to look for it.

After arguing for long, Sister says the dog was missing since afternoon, fuck it. Dammit sia, why cant they just tell me before going down? Why didnt they inform me? Dummy was nothing to them, but he was something to me.

When he see me crying alone, he will sit beside me, letting me to pat on its smooth fur. Bathing him was the best part, he will goes round & round at my leg. He would jump around me just becos i got his favourite snacks on my hands. He would barks whenever he saw me eating. He thought i had something good & didnt share with him. He would barks to inform me someone in the family is coming home, when they were just downstairs. He could smells them.

I feel very sad, I dun like losing something. I hate the feeling, I fucking hate losing. Losing something or losing to someone, i simply hate it. No one likes it. Why do I like to doubt my fucking intuition ? For the past 2years, I start to lose confident in intuition, what makes me hate intuition so much. Really, I cant figure it out, who the hell or what thehell makes me lose confident in my own intuition. Even the first impression of others, now i choose to believe that everyone is good. Why, what the fuck is going on with me. Now one more question/ intuition, Should i trust her? Gosh, i had a bad feeling since she talks to me. But Im easily fooled, if you treat me good, i will kick those bad impression of me. Dammit, what if i trust the intuition & it goes wrong this time? Dammit. Why do i have strong intuition. Why am i so sensitive? _l_

I just hope Dummy is fine, maybe some kindhearted brings him home. If they treat him good, I will be okay with it. 'Cos i feel dissappointed with myself, I didnt notice Dummy was missing when I was home, its like after half an hour. What a owner i am. I still thought of buying him new clothes for newyear, two days ago. I hope that Dummy will come home himself tomoro. ):

Yes, you must thinking, im so wicked right. I so evil, I didnt take good care of the dog. Damn. I also think so.

Regards.