Why am I so bother by the shit thats not done by me.

So apparently, I have so much disappointment.

It has been years, 2 decades to be exact.
I'm always surround by this same old crap.

Why do I have to be responsible for that?
You're the one who created this.
For goodness sake, who should be the one that should shoulder all these.

I took everything without complaining.
And have always think that I should do it.
I did the right things. I have to carry this responsibility till I die. I give my best, and I mean best.
I would do whatever I can to give the best.

Whenever we have disagreements, you're on the top side.
Whenever you're in trouble, we have to be troubled.
With every help we gave, I know we're destroying you.  I tried to stop, but I couldn't. Becos we doesn't want you to create even worse mistakes.

I'm someone who will feel guilty forever even if I cheated on a small test. I'm someone who will feel guilty even if I'm on the white lies. Yes I should feel guilty I mean. I'm someone who believes in perfection.  Working along with that principle, I'm careful with my every steps. But with you, I have to always backtrack. And with my character, I know I will shoulder this responsibility till my last breath. I want to put myself down so much. I want to live without this responsibility. I want to be free. I want to be like before.

I'm sorry. I'm getting too agitated.

Some times, I wish my next breath is the last. but I know it will never be, as I can't put down these down yet.



Nights.