Here cones again.

I am back to this stage again.
It has been so hard on me. Everything is.
I have been living in negativity for long enough.
I know I hate it. I know I can determine how I think.
I know , I know.

Sometimes it's so hard being me.
I hope I'm someone else. Maybe just my youngest sibling.
Why am I always the one who have to clean the mess up?
Why do I have let them vent their angers on me.
Why must I let in.
I don't get it, I know I can be harsh on them.
I know I could, But I won't.
Why do I have to be responsible for what others left behind.

I'm worried that if I don't help, no one would help.
I'm worried that if I don't so it, no one would do it.
I'm worried that if I stop doing, no one will ever do it.

And you for to know, I have my times. I will gets tired, sad, weak and need some alone time. And I always overthink everything, and it will kill me.

It's such a bad timing for everything.
I'm sick. Finals will be coming. I am on assignments.
Grandma needs help. All the housechores.

Is this how a twenty should live? I thought I should be catching some dramas, doing some shopping. Going overseas. Planning this and that.

I know there's harder lives than mine. And I appreciates whatever I have, I do. But sometimes, when I see more loss than gain. My heart and brain just don't tally.

Regards,
M